Inspiration

Since Elizabeth was diagnosed with Leukaemia so many people have told me how inspiring I am and how strong I am. It is hard for me to think of being anything else but today as I was laughing at Elizabeth being a little know it all and showing off for all the nurses, I realised that she is the inspiring one, she has inspired me and her strength is what gives me strength. Its not coming from me to her its the other way round.

When the doctor told me on Friday what the side effects of the steroids would be I just had to laugh, moodiness, tantrums, night waking, stroppiness, demanding and clingy all described the Beth I already knew and loved but the Beth that I have seen emerge over the last few days is kind, considerate, loving and an absolute sweetheart. From giving one of her balloons to her sister to wanting to share her food, sharing her dvds with fellow patients as well as telling me she loves me a lot, Elizabeth has been so generous to everyone.

She has charmed the pants of every nurse, every doctor and even the cleaners. Her constant chatter and smiles as well as her cheeky remarks has them all grinning. From the “no thank you”‘s when being offered her medicine to the random happy things that come out of her mouth it is as though nothing can phase this little girl.

We were discussing hair loss yesterday as there are a few people on the ward further along in their treatment and her answer was that as she didnt like me brushing it and she didnt like me washing it she may as well not have any. She did clarify that she doesnt want it shaved off though as “only boys shave”.

We had a chance to meet with the wards teachers today and she starts hospital school tomorrow and the things she was coming out with had them in stitches. They asked her if she was a clever girl and she said “No, I’m a clever clogs!” They asked her if she knows her numbers and she said “I can count to 100 but sometimes I get the tens wrong. I can also count in spanish but I bet you dont” when asked about her alphabet she said “I learnt my alphabet when I was a baby but sometimes I write the letters wrong and they go a bit funny like grandad”.

Elizabeth understands that she is ill in hospital because her blood is poorly and she has bad bruises, she understands she has to take medicines to make her blood better but what she doesnt understand is why the nurses always want to check her muscles with the squeezy (for those of you who do not speak child or gibberish its her blood pressure). Why do they make up such stories for kids and at what age do they start explaining things properly? There is no way she was taking that crap but since I explained what it actually does she has been perfectly happy to have it done.

The biggest surprise of all is Elizabeth’s love of her Wiggly or her Snake. She had a Hickman Line fitted on Friday and ever since she woke up from the surgery it has been called her snake, she hates people touching it because she thinks they are going to take it away. She even went so far to make a deal with a nurse “I will let you touch my snakey if you do not take it off. Is that a deal?” and she made her shake hands and say. She thinks her drip is giving snakey a drink and some of her medicines are snakeys food. However she thinks of it the power of acceptance is amazing.

We have been worried about Elizabeth’s eating since she came into the hospital but seen as she never really ate much anyway and the food here is terrible it took me a few days to be concerned. She has however proven herself to still be the most stubborn determined little girl that I once knew when it comes to food. Yesterday she demanded McDonalds as she fancied a burger so daddy had to drive from our house to Mcdonalds and then to the hospital before heading home again and tonight she demanded freshly cooked part baked baguettes and tinned spaghetti, “but it better not be hoops or alphabets just straight spaghetti ok mum!” Daddy and Aunty Cat came to visit today with Alison and brought her chosen dinner in with them and within a few minutes she said they have been there a while now so they could go. The cheek on the little blitter is unbelievable.

Maybe now you will see where my strength and my inspiration comes from because I can tell you I am giggling just thinking of the things she has said today. Where ever this amazing little girl came from I definitely want her to stay.

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