50 shades of rape and abuse?

When I read the fifty shades of grey trilogy on their release I was both shocked by the appalling writing and amazed that these books were being accepted so freely by society. Now don’t get me wrong I like reading erotica occasionally and I would definitely class the theme of these books under that category, but that was ok, if people wanted to take the time to read the books and continue reading them then that was up to them however this has now gone past that point.

With the upcoming cinema release and the advertising posters littering the bus stops (including ones near schools I must add) I feel as though I can no longer keep my opinions to myself and looking around my facebook feed it seems I am not the only one.

The fifty shades of grey books touch on the relationships commonly referred to as a submissive and a dominatrix. However they take this to a level that is not accepted within that community.

Having a bit of fun in the bedroom and even role playing is down to each individual couple but stop should mean stop and yet Mr Grey doesn’t seem to think that this is the case as he continues against his victims wishes. 

Not only is Anastasia raped by Christian but the emotional abuse started way before she even got to that point. Christian stalked her, controlled what she wore, what she ate, how often she exercised and when she could see her friends.

As a mother I am appalled that we are saying to the world that this is ok. If a friend came to me and told me about this sort of relationship I would tell them to phone the police and to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. 

What makes it worse is that this film is basically soft porn which will be released on dvd. The dvds will then be watched by children and they will think that this is a normal healthy relationship. Do we really want to teach our daughters that having a man who is controlling and who doesn’t listen to you is suitable boyfriend material? Do we really want to teach our sons to disrespect women in such a way?

As much as I found the books to be in poor taste they were not shoved in front of unsuspecting eyes. I find the fact that people are excited about going to the cinema to watch soft porn surrounded by strangers to be somewhat disturbing but what I find more disturbing is the normalisation of a relationship based on jealousy, manipulation, control and violence. 

If you think that I am wrong then that is fine but I ask you to think of your daughter, sister or friend and think how you would react if they told you someone followed them to work, knew where they lived, tied them up and didn’t let them go and who had sex with them when they asked them to stop?