Should you suffer a bad relationship for the sake of your kids?

July 30, 2014 Off By Laura TMOT

Lawrence Henderson runs a home improvement and interior design business. He feels designing a home, renovating it is like creating a fine work of art. Nothing gives his more satisfaction than seeing a customer’s face light up, when he/she is overjoyed with the end result.

We have all heard stories of couples staying together for the sake of the kids. This is a noble idea but is it worth doing if you find yourself in a bad relationship?

The truth is that this could turn out to one of the worst things you can do, both for you and for your children. While you would be doing this for the right reasons, the following points are all things that need to be considered before you make your decision.

Enjoy Your Life

Can you really see yourself enjoying life if you stick with your partner in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy? Of course, every single relationship in the world is different from the rest and only the people involved in it truly understand how it works. Having said that, there are some cases in which you will find it impossible to enjoy your life like this. One of the clearest examples is that of an abusive relationship where physical harm is part of the deal. In this case, suffering abuse for the sake of the kids is a terrible idea which will harm you and could also set a bad example for the young ones in the house. At the end of the day, it is a question of sitting down and deciding what you want from the rest of your life. It seems fair to say that in the majority of cases staying in a relationship that isn’t working isn’t the best way to enjoy the rest of your life. If you think that you are too old to find a new partner but don’t want to live alone in your later years then you could take inspiration from the people who have found love late in life.      

Let Your Partner Move On Too

Despite the problems you are going through just now, the chances are that you want your current partner to be happy too. It could be that you both simply need to be with a different type of person in order to be happy. One thing you won’t want to do is look back at your life in the years to come and realise that you make your partner unhappy all those years by clinging to a relationship that wasn’t making either of you happy. On the other hand, there are many couples who have stayed friends after breaking up. If you can do this while living separate lives then perhaps you can look after the kids better than you would do by staying together in a bad relationship. You might even find that you work well together in bringing up the little ones when there is a bigger amount of breathing space between you and your partner. It doesn’t work for everyone but if you are both most interested in the welfare of the children then it could be an option. If you haven’t started talking to your partner about the current problems in your relationship then it is time to start doing so. This will help you both make the necessary decisions and tell the other what you want from life.  

The Kids Suffer More Seeing Their Parents Fight

In some ways the idea of staying together for the sake of the kids doesn’t even make any sense, anyway. This is because some recent studies have suggested that divorce in itself doesn’t hurt the kids who get caught up in it. Instead, what damages them is seeing their parents fighting. With this in mind, it makes sense to think that staying together in a relationship that no longer works is worse than separating on reasonably good terms. Of course, the subject of divorce and children related issues is a delicate matter that needs to be considered carefully. Each case needs to be considered on its own merits and you might find that speaking to relationship experts helps you to come to the right decision. When all is said and done, what you most want to do is to protect the kids from any harm and look after them well. By keeping this goal clear in your head you are sure to eventually come to the right decision about what the future holds.   

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