Memories and embarrassing stories


The little one is me

Does your mum or dad have a story about you that makes you cringe?

Is there one thing that you beg your mum not to bring up every time you introduce them to a new friend?

When I was growing up there was a certain story about my brother, which as much as I would love to repeat here I think he would kill me. Every time I heard this story I was thankful that there was no ammunition like that about me.

I mean my childhood nickname was not one to be proud of but it was more something to laugh about than something that was actually embarrassing. Do you want to know what it was?

I was called “Laura Jane Machine gun bum stinky bum Nolan” I obviously had a bit of a gas problem when I was younger and I think I have passed it onto my own daughters.

As a parent there will be times in your children’s lives when you know something has happened which you can use as pay back. Pay back for all the sleepless nights and all the hassle that is involved in raising them up to the embarrassment age.


One story that sticks in my mind happened when we went to Blackpool for the day when the girls were younger.

The sun was shining, the beach was clean and there was a lovely tide pool for the girls to play in.

There was lots of children around and we stripped the girls naked as you can do at that age, they loved it  but then I noticed something that I really didn’t want to notice. Alison was pulling her face, you know the one, she was concentrating just a little bit too hard.

Oh no, here she is completely naked in a large tide pool surrounded by children and she doesn’t have a nappy on. This was before I heard about Splash About nappies so the idea of her sitting in water with a nappy on was not very practical.

Unfortunately I was too late and the deed was done, I had to try to clean her up and the surrounding area, its not like a swimming pool where they can dump more chemicals in so it was a bit of a bio-hazard.

One day when she is older I will use that information, I will suitably embarrass her with the story of how she evacuated a beach in the height of summer. We haven’t been back to the beach since but I might put the pennies away from writing this and head over there when we see a little bit of sun.

Now I wonder what embarrassing story I can think off for Elizabeth.