It can be so painful when you see the signs of divorce; this person whom you married was supposed to be your life partner, your best friend, and the parent to your children, and now this bond that you both had is fading away and will never return. Sure, they’ll still be in your life, but you both will be strangers, too. Overall, it’s a nightmare, but at the same time, it’s for the best. Also, the amount of money wasted is far from ideal. You both are closely a chapter, but at the same time, you both are opening up a new chapter, too.
But it’s not just about the marriage because you also need to think of your kids and how they’ll handle this. Now, needless to say, it can be traumatic for a child having to deal with divorce- especially if they see their parents, two people who once loved each other, just not acting the same anymore.
Plus, kids work better with routines, and their routine is getting thrown off, having to pack up, move, have adults ask them questions, and so on. It’s hard for a child, and this trauma can stick with them for the rest of their life, and they don’t deserve the trauma. Yes, you can still divorce; you have that right, but you need to think of your kids, and you need to make sure this divorce is easy for both of you. So, what can both of you do? Well, here’s everything you need to know.
It’s About Being Honest
One of the most important things you can do is to communicate openly and honestly with your children about the divorce. Children need to understand what is happening in their family, and they deserve to hear the truth in an age-appropriate manner. While yes, it’s totally true that it depends on their age, as a toddler isn’t going to understand this like a ten-year-old would, you’ll need to break it down as much as possible for them to understand.
This also means that you’ll need to avoid placing blame or speaking negatively about the other parent ( no matter how much they may have hurt you). Instead, focus on explaining the situation calmly and reassuringly, letting them know that both parents still love them and that the divorce is not their fault.
Protect Them from Conflict
One of the most harmful things for children during a divorce is witnessing conflict between their parents. This is where that trauma happens. It’s essential to shield them from any arguments or negative interactions- this can impact them for life! If this involved legal matters, then you’re far better off using family lawyers to sort everything out legally with them. Never try to get your child in the middle of any of this. They should never be made to feel like they have to choose sides.
Seek Professional Support for Them
Sometimes, the emotional impact of divorce can be overwhelming for both parents and children. Again, this is something that’s incredibly emotionally draining. So that’s why it’s a good idea to start seeking the support of a professional counsellor or therapist can be incredibly beneficial.
Children really need an outlet for this massive life change, and a therapist can provide a safe space for your children to express their feelings and offer coping strategies to help them deal with the changes.