Regaining Your Confidence After a Toxic Relationship: A Brief Guide

During a toxic relationship, you will often find that your confidence and self-esteem are slowly chipped away until you have nothing left. Once you get out of the relationship, you need to begin the work on building back up your confidence and self-esteem. This might seem like a monumental task, and truthfully, it can be a challenge; however, it is possible. So, let’s get into it.  

Take Steps to Safeguard Yourself

One of the most important steps to regaining your confidence is to ensure that you feel safe and secure. Sometimes a toxic relationship is just that: toxic, but sometimes it can escalate into violent or dangerous situations that leave you feeling unsafe. If your ex has made threats or you are worried about them contacting you, then it might be worth considering a non-molestation order. Reach out to support from professionals like National Legal Service Solicitors to help you start the process.

Forgive Yourself

Depending on the toxic nature of the relationship, you might come out of it feeling like a victim or blaming yourself for the should have, would have, could haves. Either way, in order to move on, you need to let go of this mentality. Forgive yourself for the person you became during that relationship. It might not have even been a conscious choice.

Avoid Rushing into Another Relationship

Often, after a toxic relationship, you find your self-worth tied to what others think of you. Some people think that the quickest way to regain their confidence is to get into another relationship because this proves that they are still desirable and worthy of love. This is not a helpful mindset. Allow yourself to be single for a while; it helps you to process and heal from your last relationship.

Be a Little bit Selfish

During a toxic relationship, you tend to put your needs on the back burner and begin to prioritise your partner. In order to regain your confidence, you need to start prioritising your own needs and desires. Put yourself first for a change! Treat yourself to things you wouldn’t usually, take yourself out and spend time doing the things you love – without feeling guilty.

Compliments are Key

A lot of people find it difficult to accept compliments, instead preferring to brush them off or refusing to believe them at all. However, compliments can really help to build your confidence and self-esteem up. The next time someone compliments you, instead of brushing it off, acknowledge it and thank them. Some people also find it helpful to compliment themselves, a sort of ‘fake it till you make it’ approach.

The Bottom Line

Moving on from a toxic relationship takes time; you cannot expect to get over it and get back to your old self overnight. Acknowledging what you want through and how it has affected, you can be extremely beneficial during the healing process. Obviously, your safety should be the priority, so ensure that you have taken the steps necessary to ensure your well-being as you begin to move on. Take on board the tips listed above to help you to regain your confidence as you emerge from the shackles of this relationship.