Positive thoughts

Today has been a hard day but I am still sat here next to Elizabeth’s bed with a small smile on my face. I can almost tangibly feel the positivity and love and support that is pouring in our direction from friends and loved ones as well as from complete strangers. Until you are in this situation where you are on the receiving end of this huge outpouring of love you can not even begin to feel the difference it really makes. We have seen our community do some amazing things recently from the outpouring of supporting and thoughts heading to Multiple Mummy or the physical effort to help I want my Mummy to make her council house livable. Through both of these I have watched and admired, I have passed on my support, I have offered to do what I can but until now I never knew that those words, those comments actually mean so much.

I said to one blogger today that I didn’t like the messages saying that people are sorry for me or that they feel for me but I now realise the reason I didn’t like them was because they made me feel. They made this real and they hit me hard in my heart and they made me cry. Complete strangers pouring their hearts out and giving me a shoulder to cry on.

Now is not the time for tears, I did that yesterday when I typed my first post, I am surprised there is no spelling mistakes as I could hardly see my keyboard through the tears. Today is a day of positivity, today we know that Elizabeth has been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). We know that they are happy with her, we know how they are going to treat her, we know the drugs they will use and the side effects they may bring. We know that she should be in remission in four to five weeks, ok so the next few years will be hard but I know I can cope with anything because right here online I have you. I used to write as though no one was reading but I know differently, I know you are reading and I know you are feeling this journey with me.

So for now I am positive, positive that we will get through this and positive that somewhere in the future a mum will be sat at her computer googling this awful disease and she might read this and know that other people have been there and that there is more support out there than you can possibly imagine.

good night and think positive thoughts