Whilst everyone is happy and jolly and counting down for Christmas I am feeling grinch like. Everywhere I go I have annoying Christmas songs forced on to my ears and I have had enough. As my form of punishment I give you the 10 worst Christmas number ones of all time.
“Christmas Alphabet” Dickie Valentine (1955)
I ways thought that the rubbish Christmas songs was something from my generation but Dickie Valentine’s Christmas Alphabet is pretty bad.
“Long Haired Lover From Liverpool” Jimmy Osmond (1972)
No child under the age of 10 should be singing about lovers let alone long haired ones from liverpool. It seems that child exploitation was rife in the 70’s.
“There’s No One Quite Like Grandma” St Winifred’s School Choir (1980)
Ok a choir of kids could be pretty cute but within a few bars of this song and I just want to throw something. It could be the Stockport accent that reminds me so much of my in laws or the pure cheesiness of the song but really no one loves Grandma that much.
“Somethin’ stupid” Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman (2001)
This video is so sickeningly sweet I almost threw up over my Christmas tree just collecting it from youtube. Actors should be actors and musicians should not venture into the movie business.
“2 become 1” Spice Girls (1996) – followed closely by “Too Much” in 1997 and “Goodbye” in 1998
A song (or collection of songs) that were so annoying that the pure mention of their names and your brain is singing the lyrics. You will hate me for this one!
“Sound of the Underground” Girls Aloud (2002)
I am pretty sure that is these girls were chubby with short legs they would not have been as popular.
Do they know its christmas” Band Aid (1984), Band Aid II (1989), Band Aid 20 (2004) and Band Aid 30 (2014, although its not a number one yet this year)
Ok so I love the idea and back in 1984 it did a wonderful thing but come off it you can write a new song to raise money you dont need to keep singing the same one!
Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West) Benny Hill (1971)
Totally Christmassy, I mean who doesn’t want to think about a dead milkman at Christmas time
“Can we Fix it?” Bob the Builder (2000)
People actually would have needed to buy this…..a lot of people. what was wrong with you?
“Mr Blobby Song” Mr Blobby (1993)
To make matters worse I know that people bought this as I unwrapped it on christmas day 1993. Not sure what happened to it but I am pretty sure it would have caused arguments on Christmas day as a nine year old more than likely had this on repeat, purely for the annoyance factor though not because I actually liked it.
So there you have it the 10 worst christmas number one’s ever according to me. What ones would you choice?